My eyes flicker open for a second but the fluorescent light is blinding, my eyelid slam shut in a pain response. I do not know where I am. I cannot remember my name.
The Malaysian Nurse, Ama has helped into the shower room and as I wash she chats idly about TV programmes I have never heard of The hot water and being away from my bed is more soothing and relaxing than anything I could hope for. As I am helped into my hospital pyjamas by Anna she tells me that I have no ID, no purse. No mobile phone and a Doctor will be by very soon to talk to me. I smile but say nothing.
The very young Doctor is handsome and charming. He tells me that I was hit by a car and suffered very little real damage apart from my memory loss. He explains, in a patronising tone that little is known about the workings of the brain and my memory might return soon or never at all. Amnesia is not an exact science and true amnesia is extremely rare. He pats my hand and steps out of the room to take a call on his phone.
That night I have the same dream I have had for the last 3 nights. I am alone in a field but there are voices whispering in the dark. A storm is coming, you can smell the rain in the air. I turn and there is a young girl just behind me. She looks so cold and lost. “They cannot know.” She speaks so softly that it is hard to hear every word. “More will come.” That is the last thing she says before I wake.
The hospital has appointed me a therapist in the hopes that talking to her will maybe shake loose some memories of who I was. Our conversations are pointless. She seems nice and friendly but I can’t give her the closure or answers she wants.When she leaves with platitudes and well wishing, I always feel I have let her down in some way. I can only tell her what I know. I woke up in hospital and have no memory of anything before that. I am not physically injured, apart from a few cuts and bruises, I have not been reported missing and my finger prints have yielded nothing. I am, was, well nourished. Healthy and articulate. I know what year it is, who is the prime minister and where I am, just not who I am.
It is four in the morning. A hospital is never really quite enough to sleep so I get out of bed and walk to the bathroom. While I am brushing my teeth I feel a cold draft on my skin. I spit the minty foam out of my mouth and when I rise, there is a man in the mirror. I think I may have jumped a little, when I turn he is still there. A younger man than I first thought. Expensive suit, flawless skin and slick dark hair. He smiles. “Is it done?”
I’m so used to not speaking that my voice sounds dry and slightly inhuman. “Who… is what done?”
He frown slightly, as though he hasn’t understood what I have said. “Rachael, The Families have invested a great deal in this venture. I hired you because you are without doubt the best. Are they dead?”
It is like a mirror smashing. A thousand fragmented images, a kaleidoscope of memories. It was freezing cold. The Estate covered nine square mile. I had been observing it for eight days. I took out the two security guards with a small 21 A Bobcat Beretta, lethal and reasonably quite, at close quarters. As I approached the house I switched to the Beretta 92 G serie. Once inside I shot David Carlson and his wife and two sons as they slept. I swept each room as I left which is when the little girl came and put her hand in mine. As her cold skin touched me I both felt and heard while she spoke. “Hello Rachael. The people you work for are liars. They hunt us and murder us regardless of our affiliations or our kind. We are not all monsters Rachael. The more the Vatican pushes, the more we will eventually push back. More of us will come. Those men that employ you… They cannot know. If you ever know the truth of our world they will kill you. Take care Rachael”
I realise I haven’t replied and the slight lowering of his eyelids makes me on edge. His hand barely moved towards his jacket, as I grabbed his tie and pulled it sharply up and to the left. As he fell backwards I caught him with my forearm against his neck and my left hand on the back of his head. Pulling and pushing at the same swift moment I broke his neck. His shoulder holster carried a Glock. I put it on top of the cistern while I stripped him and changed into his clothes. I took the money from his wallet and threw the rest. Holding his keys in my hand I walked off the ward and headed towards the basement. I had $900 and a BMW, enough I thought to get me on the road and in some way back to working out who I am.